Getting away from the paranormal.

I have always had an interest in the realms that are not our own.
It is a terrifying thought to believe that there are.. monsters.. demons..
or whatever, that live out of our reach.
But there's also some place where humans reside, I think.

My reason for that is the fact that,
as a kid, I lived in a big house that was a farm before we came along.
The previous owner, an old lady who visited us once in a while after we bought the house,
devided she could not live there anymore because her husband died in that building.
I did not know that. But I felt things.
For example I had this 'magical' mat in front of my bed.
When I layed myself down on the mat, and I closed my eyes for one minute
(often less than that) I found myself laying in my bed as I opened them.
It happened so often that I started testing it, playing with it,
and see where it limits were. But it only happened to me,
not my teddy bears or my toy marbles.

One night, when I was asleep, my brother had the scare of his life.
He was laying in the bed above me (it was a bunk bed)
and he saw the door opening slowly,
and a blue apparition of a man peeked into the room, and left again,
as if searching for the right room.
He later described the man to me, and after some research,
we found out it was the dead husband of the woman who sold us the house.

I tried to get away from that unknown world,
but on the other side of things, I always get drawn to it.

My first girlfriend, for example.
She had two friends who killed themselves as the ultimate
'fuck you' to the world.
Before that, they asked her to join their cause, which she declined.
So after they were dead, they 'came back' to haunt her,
to whisper in her ear she had to join them in death.
But she held on to life with my help.
I thought two spirits would be enough torture for a small fragile lady like her,
but one day she called me hysterically at night,
saying there was another creature in her closet,
peeking at her like some boogeyman.
She was in such a panic that she decided to level the closet with a hammer.
She often called crying when she was home alone,
and I heard doors slam, glass vases fall, terrifying things.
And when she was at my place...

I remember this one night like it was yesterday,
even though it's about five years ago.
She was sitting in my bed, next to me,
and she suddenly crawled away in the corner, making herself as small as possible.
The third 'apparition' was there, sitting on my bed, she said.
I believed her but still, I wanted to see, hear, or at least know it was real.
So I got up, and the pitch black man with red eyes -as she described it- got up with me.
I put down a circle of salt around the bed, trying to keep him from entering,
and I stood there in my room in the circle, chanting spells my friend thaught me.
Suddenly though, a feeling in my belly I have never felt before,
as if the spirit in front of me slammed his fist in my body,
took my intestines, and squeezed hard.
I fell on the floor gasping for air.

I thought, after my adventures with that woman,
that my trip into the paranormal madlands was over,
but every time I try to get away, it comes back.

I have friends who see a baby crawl around their kitchen,
moments before she knows her aunt is pregnant,
I have friends knowing their grandmother died,
two seconds before she gets the phone call.

I have friends that are getting confused about their past life,
making their life right now a mess.
Not just flashbacks, but actual people they knew in the past
are returning once again.

Last night (it's morning now where I live) another friend of mine
recieved not one, not two, but twelve phone calls,
from a private number (so she can't call back)
and all she heard, every single time, was a woman, crying softly.

I can go on and on and on about this,
but my point is, I know these things are real, because all those things that happened
cannot be faked. And why should my friends fake them?

Also, one time, when I was so frustrated, sad, and dissapointed in this world in general,
My emotions made me so powerfull I opened up a portal in my wall.
A portal to another dimension, a desert-like region, but with temperatures around 20°C.
A sandstorm obscured my vision, but I saw creatures, that were not bound by earthly
constraints, seeing as how their whole build, their bodies, their.. everything,
was not physically possible in this -or my own- dimension.
They were bug-like, talked in sounds, not a human language or anything I have ever heard,
and they were bigger than a horse.
There were buildings, small, pyramid-like and big square ones.

The problem is, I never got to open another portal,
to the same realm, or another,
so I am wondering. Did my emotions make me that powerfull,
or did the creatures of that world find a way to open the door between our world
and theirs, and was it accidentally in my room?
And if I can open portals, who says it isn't my own fault I travelled
from my world to this one? Who says it was an accident?

These are the things that keep me up at night,
and I look up to the stars, and wonder.